The Gundam Wing Movie
by Ayakaishi Fei
Summary: The real gundam wing movie! We decide to make a movie using characters from various anime's to play the pilots. Fluff and Shounen-ai. *smiles chirpily*


The Gundam Wing Movie  
  
A collaboration between K-chan the Kaizer and FireDemon aka Dria  
  
Chapter One: Interviewing the Candidates and Casting the Actors.  
  
Choosing Pilot 01:  
  
::Two young 'innocent' looking women walk into the room, dressed business like and holding clipboards::  
  
Dria: Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we ::smiles chirpily::  
  
K-chan: Right, ::consults her clipboard:: Pick-oh-low?  
  
::Piccolo walks into the interviewing room::  
  
Dria: You're applying for the part of ::consults her clipboard:: the Incredible Hulk?  
  
Piccolo: No. I am here to act the part of pilot 01, the Perfect Soldier(  
  
K-chan: You seem to have all the qualifications. Don't call us, we'll call you.  
  
::Dria tears up Piccolo's actor resumé in a fit of pique::  
  
K-chan: Next  
  
::Brock enters the room, customary hearts for eyes::  
  
Brock: They're so beautiful  
  
::Both girls recoil::  
  
Dria: Thanks for your time. NEXT!  
  
::Shinji is pushed, protesting, into the room::  
  
K-chan: You're here to play Heero Yuy?  
  
Shinji: Er ::looks back at the door which is being guarded by a smirking Asuka:: it was either Heero or Trowa, and gay people make me nervous.  
  
Dria: Didn't you have a 'gay' scene in Evangelion? ::mentally drools::  
  
Shinji: Not really, because Kowaru wasn't technically human, I'm technically not gay.  
  
Dria: What about when Kaji ::her comment is muffled by K-chan's hand::  
  
K-chan: Anyway, you've got the part, congrats Shinji-kun, ::leers at Dria:: we don't even have to fork out for contacts or hair dye!  
  
::Shinji makes a break for the door::  
  
Dria: Don't you think ::looks concerned:: we should have told him that we whole-heartedly believe in 1x2.  
  
K-chan: Dria, the poor boy is in denial about his sexuality. We're helping not harming. repeat after me. helping not harming.  
  
Choosing Pilot 02:  
  
::Dria leans back in her chair, and undoes the top 3 buttons of her shirt::  
  
Krillin: Hi, I'm Duo!  
  
K-chan: Who let in the Munchkin?  
  
Dria: Get out! Get OUT! GET OUT!  
  
Krillin: But. I'm Duo.  
  
K-chan: Duo is not a bald munchkin.  
  
::Dria snaps her fingers and makes a hand gesture at Krillin, indicating that Quatre's manguanacs should 'escort' him off the premises.  
  
Dria: Next.  
  
Daisuke: Hi, I'm here to play Duo.  
  
K-chan: Bend over and touch your toes.  
  
::Dria conscientiously examines his ass then gives K-chan a thumbs up::  
  
K-chan: It seems you have the correct build. Congratulations Duo Maxwell. Report to Braided Baby for your hair extensions.  
  
::Dria leans her head out the door::  
  
Dria: We've found our Duo, all you other no-hopers can leave.  
  
Duo: But. I'm Duo.  
  
K-chan: Not in this life time buddy, ::glares at him from next to Dria:: now scoot.  
  
Choosing Pilot 03:  
  
::Goku walks into the room, grinning the cheerful Son Grin(::  
  
Goku: Hi.  
  
Dria: Hi yourself gorgeous.  
  
K-chan: Senior citizens are down the hall.  
  
Goku: But. I'm here to play Trowa.  
  
K-chan: I'm sorry you're not quite what we were looking for.  
  
Dria: Speak for yourself. ::leers:: I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?  
  
Goku: Well. I dunno. Chichi doesn't like me giving our number to strangers.  
  
Dria: Oh I'm sure your sister wouldn't mind, just this once.  
  
K-chan: Chichi's his wife, Dria no baka.  
  
Dria: Oh ::shrugs:: The positions been filled. Next.  
  
::Goku leaves in happy confusion, still unaware that Dria saw him as a sex object, and Ash enters::  
  
Ash: How's it going?  
  
Pikachu: Pika-pi  
  
K-chan: A mouse! ::Throws a book::  
  
Dria: A demented yellow mouse! ::leaps onto a chair:: Please leave. And take that. 'thing' with you.  
  
::Ash leaves in not so happy confusion::  
  
Tachi: Hi, I'm auditioning for the role of Meirin.  
  
K-chan: You're the face that will launch a thousand ships.  
  
Dria: Congratulations Trowa ::launches herself at him in a congratulatory grope::  
  
Tai: Wha?!? Who's Trowa?  
  
::K-chan pushes him out the door::  
  
K-chan: See you next week!  
  
Choosing Pilot 04:  
  
::Geri Halliwell sweeps into the room her hair dyed that disgusting white blonde colour that really doesn't suit her and throws herself into K-chans chair::  
  
K-chan: What are you doing in my chair?  
  
Geri: I, am here to play Quatre  
  
Dria: These auditions are for animé characters only.  
  
K-chan: ::mutters under breath:: Not anorexic tarts.  
  
Geri: I heard that! I, am a star. You're nothing! Nothing.  
  
Dria: K-chan, release the hounds.  
  
::Geri is dragged, screaming, and kicking her anorexic little legs out of the office by K-chan and Dria's bloodthirsty hounds::  
  
K-chan: Next.  
  
::Li is dragged into the office by an enthusiastic Meilin::  
  
Li: Okay, I'll do it Meilin, just give me the photo!  
  
::Meilin hands Li the photo, which he tears up, then eats::  
  
Dria: Not bad.  
  
K-chan: A little young for you Dria.  
  
Dria: I meant for the part. And he's not that young.  
  
K-chan: I suppose. We'd have to bleach his hair, and he'd need contacts.  
  
Dria: That's what we have Braided Baby for, right?  
  
K-chan: Actually, we have Braided Baby because of those sexual favours. She owes us big.  
  
Dria: Oh yeah.  
  
K-chan: Anyway. Congratulations Li, you have the part of.  
  
Naynay: Is this no-hoper almost finished? Cos me and Mr. Weasel have a date.  
  
K-chan: ::nudges Dria:: Blonde hair. We can save on bleach!  
  
Dria: But. she's.  
  
K-chan: Budget.  
  
Dria: Congratulations Li, you have the role of. Treize!  
  
Li: But. I.  
  
::K-chan pushes the protesting boy out the door::  
  
K-chan: We'll see you bright and early Monday of next week.  
  
Naynay: So I've got the part?  
  
::Dria nods::  
  
Naynay: Take that Priss! I can get any role I want.  
  
::K-chan gets her signature on the contract and hurries her out the door before Dria decides to hit on her::  
  
Choosing Pilot 05:  
  
::Meilin flounces into the room, her black hair greased back like Wufei's::  
  
Meilin: I would make the perfect Wufei because.  
  
K-chan: Look we really don't care.  
  
Dria: In case you hadn't noticed. Wufei's a guy. It might not be completely obvious on the silver screen, but me and K-chan confirmed it. ::leers::  
  
Meilin: But isn't Quatre being played by a girl?  
  
K-chan: Who told you that? That's highly classified infromation!  
  
Dria: Besides, it's a completely different 'kettle of fish'. Quatre's supposed to be feminine. He's gay.  
  
Meilin: But. That's totally unfair!  
  
K-chan: Life isn't fair. Now scoot.  
  
Dria: Next.  
  
::Chichi enters the room, dragging Gohan behind her::  
  
Chichi: I am here to play Wufei.  
  
K-chan: I see ::Eyes Gohan::  
  
Dria: Aren't you a little old miss.?  
  
Chichi: Chichi.  
  
Dria: You're Goku's wife?  
  
Chichi: Yes.  
  
Dria: Shit, he totally would have been up for an affair with an ugly slut like you at home. ::Hits her forehead with the heel of her hand:: Why didn't I keep flirting?  
  
K-chan: Ignore her Miss Chichi, Dria's just suffering. a rare tropical disease known as lust.  
  
Chichi: If you say so. ::Eyes Dria suspiciously::  
  
K-chan: How about you stand on that cross over there, so we can see how the lighting affects your colouring.  
  
::Chichi stands on the cross::  
  
K-chan: Oh it doesn't look so good. Thank you for your time Miss Chichi.  
  
::The trapdoor opens and Chichi falls into the sewage pit placed there for her enjoyment::  
  
::Dria snaps out of her daze to see Gohan::  
  
Dria: You wanna come sign this contract, sexy buns?  
  
Gohan: Huh? Me?  
  
::K-chan looks at Dria then shrugs::  
  
K-chan: That's right studmuffin. ::leers::  
  
Choosing Pilot 06:  
  
::K-chan realises that she's run out of coke::  
  
K-chan: POAS, bring more coke.  
  
::POAS hurries in to deliver K-chan's highly addictive black sticky liquid, and is followed in by a very bewildered Sailor Venus::  
  
Sailor Venus: Um, I'm the person with the identity crisis?  
  
Dria: Wha? Lady Une? Oh, come back in about half an hour.  
  
Sailor Venus: No! I'm Sex!  
  
K-chan: ::spits out her mouthful of coke:: Excuse me?  
  
Sailor Venus: The dude with the long hair?  
  
Dria: Oh. So you're not a prostitute?  
  
Sailor Venus: What? No. This movie is a joke. ::Flips her hair::  
  
K-chan: Get out of my office slut, and don't you ever insult me!  
  
Dria: It was an honest mistake. I just think your hot that's all.  
  
::K-chan looks disturbed as Sailor Venus looks uncannily similar to her::  
  
Dria: ::smiles innocently:: Next?  
  
Bulma: Hi guys!  
  
K-chan: I'm sorry the part's already been taken. Next.  
  
Bulma: Vegeta, the part's already been taken. We can make my hairdressing appointment after all. ::walks out of room::  
  
Dria: Next?  
  
Yamato: Excuse me.?  
  
Dria: You have the part. ::Her eyes go wide and lusty::  
  
Yamato: What? I'm just looking for the bathroom.  
  
::K-chan engulfs him in a quick groping hug::  
  
K-chan: You're perfect ::sighs happily::  
  
Yamato: I've really got to go!  
  
Dria: And so eager! ::clasps her hands::  
  
Yamato: I'm busting!  
  
K-chan: Well, as soon as we have your signature, Dria will show you to the toilet.  
  
Yamato: But. I don't want the part!  
  
Dria: Are you sure? ::She begins to slowly pour herself a drink of K-chan's coke while Yamato sweats::  
  
Yamato: Give me the goddamned pen!  
  
::K-chan snatches the contract and hugs it to her bosom::  
  
::Dria drags Yamato towards the toilet. the one in her personal bedchamber that is::  
  
Choosing Relena:  
  
K-chan: We'll need someone annoying.  
  
Dria: Someone we'll want to kill.  
  
K-chan: We need to make this as realistic as possible.  
  
Dorothy: Peace is wonderful, and beautiful, and I love Heero ::her voice squeaks on the 'e' part in Heero's name::  
  
::Dria looks impressed::  
  
Dorothy: And I secretly love Dorothy.  
  
::Dria is no longer impressed::  
  
Dria: Thanks for your time. ::leans towards K-chan:: I thought you'd got rid of that psycho!  
  
K-chan: So did I ::her hand inches towards the trapdoor button::  
  
Dorothy: No problem. Bye! ::she leaves::  
  
Dria: Damn.  
  
K-chan: Next.  
  
Asuka: You have to give me this part!  
  
Dria: ::whispers:: Promising. She annoys me already.  
  
K-chan: What do you think of peace?  
  
Asuka: I think it's a load of bullshit. But I can fake it. I always fake it!  
  
K-chan: Charming.  
  
Dria: You're not what we were looking for, so don't come back.  
  
::Serena glides into the room, then trips over her own feet::  
  
K-chan: Begin.  
  
Serena: Heero and Relena were made for each other! I mean why else would he avoid her like he does, and he always goes back to her. Heero and Relena. It's like me and Darrien all over again, they're destined to be together. ::clasps her hands to her chest:: It's like in the series, there was this one time.  
  
Dria: You've got the part. ::makes a cross to ward Serena off:: Now get out before we throw you out!  
  
K-chan: I've been traumatised for life.  
  
Choosing Dorothy:  
  
::Rei walks through the door listlessly::  
  
Dria: Hi. ::leers::  
  
Rei: I am Dorothy.  
  
Dria: Right. And I'm the Easter Bunny.  
  
K-chan: Why are you here?  
  
Rei: I am here because I was ordered to be here.  
  
Dria: And if I ordered you to.  
  
::K-chan covers Dria's mouth knowing that the next thing to come out will be disgusting sadomasochistic::  
  
K-chan: Stop wasting our time and get out of my sight.  
  
::K-chan muffles Dria's protests as the 'clone' leaves::  
  
Dria: I could have ordered her to. ::breaks off with a nervous giggle at K- chan's glare:: I mean, next.  
  
Gendo: I'm here to play Dorothy. ::Leers::  
  
K-chan: Why the hell would YOU want to be Dorothy?  
  
Gendo: Well, I'd love to wear that black dress and heels.  
  
Dria: Anything else? ::looks faintly disgusted::  
  
Gendo: I kinda need you guys to pay for my breast implants.  
  
K-chan: Well. He is qualified. ::Begins listing qualities on her fingers:: Cruel, tries to kill family members and likes little girls.  
  
Dria: Ewww! ::Presses the button for the manguanacs::  
  
Sailor Venus: Are you guys finished in here yet? I'm here to apply for the role of Hilde.  
  
K-chan: You're perfect! Congratulations Dorothy.  
  
Sailor Venus: Dorothy?  
  
Dria: You both have long blonde hair. It works.  
  
Sailor Venus: Whatever.  
  
K-chan: Ah you're here. ::smiles at the manguanacs:: Take him outside and have him shot.  
  
::Manguanacs drag Gendo out the back door::  
  
Choosing Hilde:  
  
Ash: It's me! ::beams happily::  
  
K-chan: So it is. I see you've lost the plague-ridden rodent.  
  
::Ash blinks in incomprehension::  
  
Ash: Huh?  
  
K-chan: You know, the strange fuzzy thing that looked like a rabbit crossed with mouldy cheese.  
  
Dria: Cheese not scary.  
  
K-chan: Yes it is. Mould is innately frightening.  
  
Ash: Did you just insult my Pikachu.  
  
K-chan: For the last time, Yes. We don't like your Pikachu, we think it's foul, revolting and sounds like if you shoved that stick any further-  
  
::The door slams shut in K-chans face::  
  
Dria: Don't forget to kill yourself on the way out!  
  
K-chan: Well that was productive. Next?  
  
Yamcha: Hi, I'm Hel. Hil. Hilday.  
  
::Dria and K-chan raise a single brow in unison::  
  
Dria: You know you could make a good Hilde.  
  
K-chan: If you had plastic surgery  
  
Dria: And a brain transplant.  
  
K-chan: And a sex change  
  
Dria: Basically if you weren't you.  
  
::Yamcha storms out::  
  
K-chan: Uh, Dria. That was our last resort.  
  
Dria: Never mind. The universe always provides. By the time you finish your coke we'll have the perfect candidate.  
  
::K-chan sculls the last dregs of her coke::  
  
K-chan: Well where is she?  
  
Dria: Right there. ::Points at the girl who's standing outside the door arguing with 'Duo'::  
  
K-chan: Damn you're good.  
  
Dria: I know. ::smirks::  
  
K-chan: Hey you. C'min here!  
  
Ken: Uh, okay.  
  
Dria: How do you feel about being famous?  
  
Ken: I didn't like it.  
  
K-chan: Well here's your chance. Sign here.  
  
Ken: Daisuke, get your ass in here and tell these psycho's I'm not here to audition.  
  
Daisuke: We accept. What's our role?  
  
Dria: Erm, she'll be playing your girlfriend.  
  
Ken: I'm a BOY!  
  
Daisuke: He accepts the role happily.  
  
K-chan: Sign Here.  
  
::Daisuke forges Kens signature::  
  
Dria: We just hired another cross dresser.  
  
K-chan: I noticed. Who the hell finds these lunatics?  
  
Choosing Catherine:  
  
::Dende stumbles drunkenly into the audition room::  
  
Dende: Hey, I'm here to play, hic, erm.  
  
K-chan: Let me guess, the Incredible Hulk?  
  
Dende: How did you guess? Wait. I'm audishonning to be Cafferine.  
  
Dria: I hate to point it out, but Catherines neither green nor drunk.  
  
Dende: Are you, hic, sure?  
  
K-chan: Positive.  
  
Dende: Shit. I'm gonna kill Master Roshi, he said she was both.  
  
::Dende stumbles drunkenly out and trips over as soon as he gets out the door::  
  
Dria: Next. ::smiles brightly::  
  
::Ritsuko walks into the room, stands for a full minute, then twitches convulsively::  
  
Ritsuko: I'm here to kill Shinji ::twitch::  
  
::K-chan and Dria's mouths drop open::  
  
K-chan: What?  
  
Ritsuko: I'm here to ::twitch:: audition for the role of Catherine.  
  
Dria: Do you have any qualifications?  
  
::There is silence in the room for several minutes. Outside the window a cricket chirps::  
  
Ritsuko: I killed them all. Every last one.  
  
K-chan: Admirable, but I don't think that counts.  
  
Ritsuko: I helped to create the Eva's!  
  
Dria: ::shrugs:: So? I made myself a cup of coffee this morning.  
  
::Ritsuko's eyes narrow::  
  
Dria: Do I have something on my face.  
  
Ritsuko: I will kill you Ayanami Rei. Ikari Gendo is MINE you stupid little brat! ::lunges at Dria:: Old hag my ass!  
  
::Dria repeatedly presses manguanac button as Ritsuko tightens her grip on Dria's throat::  
  
K-chan: Ritsuko, release Dria, and we'll surrender Shinji to you.  
  
::Ritsuko releases Dria and is dragged out of the room by manguanacs in white jackets::  
  
Dria: So. who do we get to play Catherine?  
  
K-chan: Who do we know who throws knives?  
  
Dria: Tuxedo Mask throws roses, does that count?  
  
K-chan: Maybe it's just me, but Catherine and Relena isn't a couple that turns me on.  
  
Dria: I know ::clicks fingers and Raven appears from a cloud of smoke:: Raven from Chaotic Century.  
  
K-chan: Well he doesn't really look like Catherine.  
  
Dria: But. he's hot, look at him.  
  
K-chan: I suppose. He'll do a better job then my dog.  
  
Dria: I represent that!  
  
K-chan: I think you mean resent.  
  
Dria: That's what I said. And you're my bitch, not vice versa.  
  
K-chan: I meant Jaffa. ::Dria shrugs:: So, Raven, can you throw knives?  
  
Raven: No. But I was in the middle of shooting a scene. I'd like to return, I was about to fight Van Flyheight.  
  
Dria: You can fuck Van later.  
  
K-chan: You work for us now. You're part of the best lesbian cast ever.  
  
Raven: Excuse me?  
  
K-chan: Thespian, you know actor? What did you think I said?  
  
Raven: Never mind.  
  
Dria: Come along now, let me show you to your cage. I mean room.  
  
K-chan: We're so smart.  
  
Choosing Sally:  
  
Dria: So. Now we have to choose the perfect 'Po-Demon'.  
  
K-chan: Yup.  
  
Dria: Do we have any applicants?  
  
K-chan: Yup.  
  
Dria: So where are they?  
  
K-chan: I don't know.  
  
Dria: What's that in your hand?  
  
::K-chan hides her hands behind her back, suddenly becoming animated::  
  
K-chan: I don't know what your talking about, there's nothing in my hand, nothing. ::Giggles scarily::  
  
Dria: If you're holding out on me ::Eyes narrow::  
  
K-chan: What? I'd never! ::Hastily takes a puff then puts her hand back behind her back::  
  
Dria: You've got weed!  
  
K-chan: Weed? No! It's marijuana. incense.  
  
Dria: You little whore ::snatches joint:: Give me a puff.  
  
::K-chan lunges forward to snatch it back and several more unlit joints fall out of her pocket::  
  
Dria: I can't believe this! I thought we were friends.  
  
K-chan: We are. it's just. Friends don't share everything.  
  
Dria: I shared my ex-boyfriend with you.  
  
K-chan: That was different. This is weed, it has a personality.  
  
Dria: I suppose it's smarter and better in bed too?  
  
K-chan: Yup!  
  
Dria: If I wasn't high from your second hand smoke you'd be an endangered species.  
  
K-chan: I think our Po-demon has arrived.  
  
::Rei from Beyblades and James from Pokémon walk in side-by-side::  
  
Dria: Is that it? ::squints through the smoke::  
  
K-chan: It has two heads ::squeals::  
  
Dria: Two. ::Giggles::  
  
K-chan: Hentai ::Slaps Dria around the head::  
  
Dria: Does the Po-Demon have two heads?  
  
K-chan: I hope not. It's supposed to be female!  
  
Ray: Er. I'm here to apply for the role of Sally.  
  
James: No I'm here to be Sally.  
  
Dria: How are we supposed to pick. You two are identical!  
  
::James and Ray exchange weirded out looks::  
  
K-chan: And you both look exactly like Sally.  
  
Dria: How do we choose? Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Mo?  
  
K-chan: We should examine both candidates more closely.  
  
::Dria detours around an apparently empty space to appraise Ray::  
  
Dria: Hmm.  
  
K-chan: I completely agree. Cute clone, you have the role. If Wufei wasn't obsessed with Trieze and Milliardo you'd be the Sally he'd fuck.  
  
Dria: We're so smart! :Giggles stupidly::  
  
K-chan: I know. ::Pats Dria on the back to congratulate her:: Go us!  
  
James: Does this mean I don't have the role?  
  
Dria: Uh I guess. Don't worry you can be. Heero.  
  
K-chan: Dria, we already have a Heero.  
  
Dria: Oh right. You can be Meiran then.  
  
James: Meiran?  
  
K-chan: Don't worry, she gets to sleep with Wu-wu too!  
  
James: But that's only a bit part.  
  
Dria: You'll still get the same pay ::under her breath:: none.  
  
James: But. I need to get away from these psycho's who are stalking me. ::Throws himself at Dria's feet:: I think Jesse wants to force me into a monogamous relationship.  
  
K-chan: We'll protect you!  
  
Dria: You can be our cofee boy! ::smiles chirpily:: And have insane amounts of sex with the cast. Sound good?  
  
James: Oh thank you!  
  
::K-chan smiles benignly::  
  
Dria: You two can leave now.  
  
::Ray and James stumble out, kind of stoned from the second hand smoke::  
  
Choosing Noin:  
  
::Asuka and Jessie burst into the room arguing fiercely::  
  
Dria: Fred and George from Harry Potter. How lucky are we!  
  
Jesse: You little tart! I'm going to get the role of Noin!  
  
Asuka: Over my dead body. ::Jumps on top of Jesse and begins to beat her::  
  
::K-chan smiles and settles back to watch the show::  
  
::Jesse tries to strangle Asuka::  
  
Dria: God I love twincest! ::Her red squinty eyes sparkle happily::  
  
::Asuka bites Jesse::  
  
K-chan: This is better then that Yamakeru Empress wrote ::Giggles::  
  
::Jesse knees Asuka::  
  
::Dria winces::  
  
K-chan: Sadomasochism and Incest all in one. Hehe.  
  
::Asuka slams Jesse's head into the ground and raises a hand in victory::  
  
Dria: Wow. ::Claps appreciatively:: That was enjoyable.  
  
Asuka: So do I have the role?  
  
K-chan: Um, okay. You've got the lead in Dria's PWP.  
  
Asuka: PWP?  
  
Dria: Porn with PLOT!!! ::Squeals happily::  
  
Asuka: But. I'm applying for the role of Noin.  
  
K-chan: Oh no. Not you. You'd make a terrible Noin. Noins a girl.  
  
Asuka: But I'm a girl.  
  
Dria: Don't be silly dear. It's completely obvious you're Fred from Harry Potter. Off you go.  
  
::Asuka storms out::  
  
K-chan: Damn it. We've run out of candidates.  
  
Dria: We could always use on of the proper Gundam Wing cast. Since we have the legal right to this movie. (A/N: We don't. We got our favourite GAY thieves, Alec and Seregil from the Nightrunner Series, to steal a photocopy for us. Anyone who doesn't know who they are, read the books by Lynn Flewelling. A slash author who has been PUBLISHED. K-chan and Dria salute a flag with yaoi written in Japanese while the official yaoi national anthem (Backdoor Lover by DuJour - Think Josie and The Pussycats) plays in the back ground. ::Giggles::)  
  
K-chan: Good thinking Padawan learner. We will order Wufei to play Noin.  
  
Dria: Wow! You're so smart!  
  
K-chan: I know. Now let's go get some food before we break the news to Wu- bear. I've got the munchies.  
  
Choosing Lady Une:  
  
::Dria and K-chan walk in, arms laden with food::  
  
K-chan: So. now we have to choose Lady Une. I bet we have a hundred candidates.  
  
::Dria sits down and pulls out a chicken burger::  
  
K-chan: Any moment they'll walk in that door.  
  
::Dria's third chicken burger disappears down her throat and Dria makes a confused noise::  
  
K-chan: What's the matter Dria?  
  
Dria: My chicken burgers just disappeared.  
  
K-chan: Whatever you say ::rolls eyes and shoves a hot McDonalds apple pie into her mouth::  
  
Dria: I'm serious. Someone stole my chicken burgers. It was you wasn't it? ::glares suspiciously at K-chan::  
  
::K-chan glares back and argument dissolves into fight over self-roasting marshmallows::  
  
~Half an hour later~  
  
Dria: Any second now hundreds of unpotentials will burst through that door.  
  
::K-chan looks out the window::  
  
K-chan: Dria, why is there a police blockade?  
  
Dria: Beats me ::Shrugs::  
  
::Outside the window a mother hurries her child past the building, casting furtive glances at the window K-chan is pressed up against, condensation forming beneath her nose::  
  
K-chan: Where are they?  
  
Dria: They'll be here any second.  
  
K-chan: They must have gotten lost. I'm going to go find them!  
  
Dria: Calm down K-chan. The universe will provide.  
  
K-chan: Not this again. Cut that crap. We're out of dope and almost out of food.  
  
Dria: It's not crap. 3, 2, 1.  
  
::The door bursts open and Ritsuko stumbles into the room, eyes wild, hair standing on end from the electric shock treatment and straight jacket hanging in tatters::  
  
K-chan: This is our Lady Une?  
  
Dria: ::shrugs:: Beggers can't be choosers.  
  
Ritsuko: I'll kill them, I'll kill them all!  
  
K-chan: Bravo!  
  
Dria: With a few acting lessons it might actually be believable.  
  
Ritsuko: Shinji Ikari must die ::Pupils dilate::  
  
::K-chan giggles nervously::  
  
Dria: Just sign the contract.  
  
::K-chan nervously passes the contract to Ritsuko::  
  
::Ritsuko laughs maniacally::  
  
K-chan: You can go now ::Pushes Ritsuko out the door then locks it behind her:: Crazy motherfuck.  
  
Finishing Up  
  
K-chan: Well, I guess this means we're ready to start filming?  
  
Dria: I guess so. ::Looks surprised:: I thought it'd be harder then this. Guess the Gundam Pilots aren't as unique as we thought.  
  
K-chan: Guess not.  
  
Dria: So now we get to work on the script?  
  
K-chan: Yep. ::Raises voice:: POAS! I want you to make a list of who we've cast as who, and start working on our sets. Also, I want you to get Braided Baby to report to us with the budget, if we get desperate for money we'll have to get the cast to make ads.  
  
POAS: Of course K-chan ::Walks in to collect the casting papers from Dria in her mini skirt and skimpy top::  
  
Dria: I love having a secretary.  
  
K-chan: Yeah, oh well, we're done for today. We'll meet back here Monday to begin filming.  
  
::The three file out, stopping to collect Braided Baby on their way out::  
  
Authors Notes: For anyone who has been confused by our unorthodox methods of choosing 'the cast' I'd like to say, this is FLUFF.  
  
We tend to bash a lot of characters, but it's all in fun, we actually don't have anything against any of them. oh except Gendo, we wish we really could have him killed!  
  
K-chan and I also don't believe in drug use, despite what we may have written, it is wrong and little people shouldn't do it. If we got any details wrong feel free to politely point them out. Neither K-chan nor I do drugs, I failed my chemistry exam because I'm stupid not because I was stoned, and it was because I was stupid that I wore my fuck-me pumps and tiny mini skirt. ^_^'  
  
Our yaoi anthem was inspired by our current music (K-chan's Josie and The Pussycats CD) and we're quite serious about the books, they're really good. *sighs happily*  
  
Our choice of males for female roles and vice versa was again purely for our own amusement. A lot of what we set up we totally didn't realise until after we'd written it, ie. The Kensuke was a total fluke and we so didn't realise that when Shinji said gay people made him nervous which was why he chose Heero over Trowa that Quatre was being played by a girl.  
  
Which brings me to an important point. We don't know whether we should do 1x2 (Shinji and Daisuke) or 2xH (Kensuke). Help! We like 1x2 and Kensuke! 


End file.
